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Category Archives: Halloween

Horror Movies – If They Were Set in Washington, D.C.

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washingtonhorrormovies

In honor of Halloween, The Jimbo List has compiled a monster mash-up of two terrifying things: horror movies and government. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

INVASION OF THE BUDGET SNATCHERS

PLAN 9 FROM OBAMACARE

EVIL DEADLOCK

CREATURE FROM THE PAC LAGOON

HOUSE OF WHACKS

TEA PARTY OF TERROR

BRIDE OF FRANKEN

THE ENMITYVILLE HORROR

COULTERGEIST

SMARMY OF DARKNESS

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (TO READ YOUR EMAIL & LISTEN TO YOUR PHONE CALLS)

SUBCOMMITTEE OF THE DAMNED

CRUZILLA

FRIDAY THE 13TH FILIBUSTER

PHANTOM OF THE OP-ED

This is why C-SPAN is so frightening. Happy Halloween.

Worst Halloween Candies Ever

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The staff here at The Jimbo List has been trying to figure out what could possibly be worse than having a “Frankenstorm” throw a big, wet blanket over Halloween. Nothing comes to mind except this – a list of the absolute Worst. Candy. Ever.

BIT O’ MONKEY

SCARBURSTS

GUMMY WARTS

GOOD ‘N’ PHLEGMY

MURKY WAYS

FISH DUDS

FLEA CIRCUS PEANUTS

GEESE’S PIECES

SPITTLES

FLOUR PATCH KIDS

DISHWATER TAFFY

SMALLER PAYDAY

Happy Halloween!

4 Scary Movies From The ’70s That Aren’t Really Scary But Feature Oscar-Nominated Actors

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Have you ever gone back and watched a movie that creeped you out as a kid and realized it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as you remember? I have. Here’s a quartet of them from the 1970s:

FROGS (1972)

Do a Wikipedia search for “preposterous” and you might well find a link to this unmitigated stinker that I – beyond all reason – kind of dig. The plot is some kind of screwy take on nature striking back against humanity for being such jerks. I think. Anyway, you end up with poor Ray Milland and a young Sam Elliott (before his moustache required its own dressing room and legal representation) trapped on an island that’s slowly being overrun with snakes, lizards and … frogs. Mind you, there are no special effects here. Just the uncanny knowledge that if you see hundreds of close-ups of frogs you will want to run out of the theater shuddering.

THE MEPHISTO WALTZ (1971)

Alan Alda (?!) is a brilliant young pianist who becomes the protege of a mysterious, older man (Curt Jurgens) who envies his talent and vigor. What develops is a moody tale of murder, lust and BARGAINS WITH SATAN! Jacqueline Bisset is utterly luminous in this film, which also features some of the scariest turtlenecks in motion picture history.

MAGIC (1978)

For my money, the best demonic ventriloquist dummy film that Anthony Hopkins ever made. Seriously, though, the dummy here – Fats – is frightening in the way that all ventriloquist dolls are. You’re always waiting for that one eyelid to open unexpectedly, am I right? It’s a strange cast here, as well, with Hopkins, Ann Margret and Burgess Meredith emoting all to hell as if this was a Paddy Chayefsky character drama. What’s most interesting now is to watch Hopkins and look for any hints of the Hannibal Lecter still to come.

TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975)

You absolutely have to see this movie to believe it. That incredible bundle of crazy-eyed moxie, Karen Black, stars in a trio of scary stories. She’s sexy, she’s mousy, she’s tragic, she’s tough. But the whole ball of wax is the final story, about a woman who buys a figurine of a Zuni warrior. It’s campy, creepy nirvana, friends – with an ending shot that stays lodged in your brain for decades.

Have a fun Halloween, everyone, and feel free to tell me about the scary movies from your past that aren’t scary anymore.

21st Century Frights

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It’s that time of year when people go out of their way for a good scare. Just look at all the spooky hayrides and haunted houses. But if you think about it, there’s plenty of stuff in daily life to¬†frighten us all the way to next Halloween. They simply need some catchy names, such as:

NIGHT OF THE EVIL GPS

TEXT MESSAGE OF TERROR

THE DOOMED HARD DRIVE

CREATURE FROM THE PLASTIC SURGEON’S OFFICE

GHOST OF THE ABANDONED VIDEO STORE

SATAN’S CHOLESTEROL TEST

INVASION OF THE VIRAL VIDEO

THE DEAD BLACKBERRY

CURSE OF THE ZOMBIE ‘FRIEND’ REQUEST

AUTOCORRECT HELL

NIGHTMARE AT THE MOBIL STATION

THE SURLY BARISTA’S REVENGE

I WAS A TEENAGE I.T. GUY

Do you dare to think of any others?