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Monthly Archives: June 2012

Best Fireworks on Film & TV

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Hollywood fireworks can’t match the spectacle of a live show in the night sky – but that doesn’t stop movie and TV folks from trying. They use fireworks to illustrate everything from patriotism and protest to love and longing. See for yourself.

LOVE AMERICAN STYLE

I have fond memories of watching this anthology TV series from 1969-74, which was perfect for its era and featured everyone from Flip Wilson to Julie Newmar. Particularly memorable was its intro, which had some groovy fireworks.

MANHATTAN

Woody Allen’s use of fireworks – black and white fireworks, no less – and the music of George Gershwin is nothing short of brilliant. In the opening of his 1979 ode to the Big Apple, Woody shows us a wide shot of fireworks over the city skyline to suggest the excitement and majesty of New York.

LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

Old Gandalf (Ian McKellen) was sort of the Grucci Brothers of Middle Earth. Here, in the 2001 movie adaptation of the book, Gandalf’s pyrotechnics are peerless.

TO CATCH A THIEF

Ba-Boom! Film fireworks have never been sexier than in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1955 thriller, starring Grace Kelly and Cary Grant.

V FOR VENDETTA

Fireworks stand for liberty in “V For Vendetta,” a 2005 movie about freedom fighters trying to overturn a fictitious, totalitarian regime. The explosions might not be everyone’s idea of a good time, but the fireworks are amazing.

RETURN OF THE JEDI

There’s only one thing to do after you’ve defeated Darth Vader and the Emperor, and you find yourself on a planet full of teddy bears: set off some kickass fireworks. This is how George Lucas did it back in 1983.

MARY POPPINS

In one of the most magical sequences in 1964′s “Mary Poppins,” a fusillade of fireworks chase a group of dancing chimney sweeps off the rooftops of London. Despite one of the goofier British accents in film history, Dick Van Dyke is still too cool for words.

THE GATHERING

What are fireworks doing in this 1977 TV Christmas movie? Well, they’re a sign that you have to live for today. Ed Asner plays a cold, distant father who brings his family together for one last holiday before he meets his maker.

THE BOY WHO COULD FLY

“The Boy Who Could Fly,” from 1986, is not a terribly well-known movie. Among other things, it is the story of a new kid in town who befriends an autistic boy. One of film’s most beautiful scenes is a dreamlike flight with fireworks.

AVALON

Best fireworks scene ever. 1990′s “Avalon” has a lot to say about families and about America, but here it’s simply about one immigrant’s first Fourth of July in Baltimore.

 

 

 

To all those seeing fireworks in the next week, enjoy!

IKEA Product Names I’d Like to See

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Any IKEA fan will tell you that one of the odd pleasures of shopping there is reading the names of the many, many items on display. The vast majority of them are Swedish names of people and places. Naturally, it’s the sort of thing the staff of The Jimbo List loves to ponder. Here are some new IKEA products you won’t be seeing any time soon.

PLOPSKA – Bean bag chair

HELMUTT – Bike helmet for dogs

RESTN HEDN – Pillow

BILLY IDOL – Shelves for hair gel products

BLERN – Blender

FLEKSHUN – Mirror

BILLY CRYSTAL – Shelves for comedy awards

TIPSY-GO-ROUND – Corkscrew

PHTT – Bottle opener

BILLY GRAHAM – Shelves for religious statuary

SHEESH – Multi-purpose tool for putting together IKEA items

See you at the lingonberry counter!

Great Swimming Pool Scenes

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Let’s celebrate the first official weekend of summer The Jimbo List way – with a slate of great swimming pool scenes from movies and television. Go ahead. Dive in!

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)

The technological wonders of 1946 are on full display in this delightful scene, in which Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed are dancing in a high school gymnasium. Someone flips a switch and – wouldn’t you know it – the gym floor opens up to reveal a swimming pool!

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION (1983)

Christie Brinkley will be forever known for her sexy pool scene with Chevy Chase in this 1980s comedy classic. Oh, the things that happen on the way to Walley World.

MEET THE PARENTS (2000)

Of course, there’s plenty of adventure to be found in the pool right at your own home. One of the many humiliations that Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) endured at the hands of his in-laws, including Robert DeNiro, was a brutal game of pool volleyball. Hilarious.

SNL’S “SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING” (1984)

This filmed bit from “Saturday Night Live” is absolute brilliance. Harry Shearer and the great Martin Short play a couple of guys hoping to make the summer Olympics as male synchronized swimmers.

THE SWIMMER (1968)

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve always found this movie compelling. Burt Lancaster stars as a Connecticut suburbanite who decides to swim home via all the backyard swimming pools in his path. Because this is an adaptation of a John Cheever story, you know there’s going to be plenty of alienation and dysfunction along the way.

CADDYSHACK (1980)

On a much less serious note, we have that masterpiece of attitude and snarky charm, “Caddyshack.” You’ll never look at a candy bar the same way again, thanks to a particular scene featuring a stray Baby Ruth.

RUSHMORE (1998)

Bill Murray gets a back-to-back visit to The List. This is one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies, “Rushmore.” No one rocks Budweiser trunks like our man Murray.

SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)

“Sunset Boulevard” takes the swimming pool scene into the realm of film noir. Poor William Holden plays a Hollywood screenwriter who winds up in the deep end of things.

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF (1986)

Bueller’s buddy, played by Alan Ruck, tries to distance himself from his youthful fears and hurt by sinking to the bottom of the family pool.

WILD THINGS (1998)

Although it was not a great film, “Wild Things” did make waves due to a steamy pool scene with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE’S THE BEWITCHIN’ POOL (1964)

In this episode, two unhappy children discover, at the bottom of their parents’ pool, a doorway to a special place where mom and dad don’t fight. Bad acting, but a bracing concept.

COCOON (1985)

For those who thought they’d never want to see Wilford Brimley topless, I offer “Cocoon.” A key scene has Brimley and a cadre of duffers taking a VERY rejuvenating swim.

TOWER HEIST (2011)

“Tower Heist” didn’t get great reviews, but it really wasn’t bad. It also happened to include one of the coolest pools in movie history.

BATHING BEAUTY (1944)

This film gives us one of the true wonders of cinema – Esther Williams and a phalanx of swimmers, turning a pool into a Technicolor playground. The cast of this odd musical featured the unlikely duo of Red Skelton and Basil Rathbone.

SPECIES (1995)

The sci-fi/horror movie genre takes a memorable dip in “Species.” Natasha Henstridge plays a gorgeous woman looking for love, but she isn’t exactly what she appears to be.

TOMORROWLAND EPISODE OF MAD MEN (2010)

“Mad Men” fans will remember how important it was when Don Draper saw his kids playing in the hotel pool with his secretary, Megan. The watery frolic showed him the possibility of a young, fun, fresh new start.

THE GRADUATE (1967)

Rarely has there been such a perfect blend of acting, directing and zeitgeist. This scene makes a swimming pool the focal point for a larger statement about youthful anxiety and discontent.

So that’s my List. What would you add?

If Wineries Made Movies

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In this age of synergy and diversification, let’s imagine a world where wineries got into the movie business:

THE GRAPES OF RALPH

MY BIG, BOLD, FULL-BODIED GREEK WEDDING

TAKE THE MERLOT AND RUN

THE CORKSHIP OF EDDIE’S FATHER

ERNEST AND JULIO SAVE CHRISTMAS

SAUVIGNON PRIVATE RYAN

THE TAKING OF PINOT 1,2,3

DUDE, WHERE’S MY REISLING?

THE NUTTY, BUT NOT OVERBEARING, PROFESSOR

MY LEFT LAFITE

CABERNET

VINE HELSING

NO WINE COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

PLANET OF THE GRAPES

SUMMER OF ’42 ROTHSCHILD

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE BURGUNDY

Cheers! Add to The List!

Great TV Dads and Movie Dads You Might Have Overlooked

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Something great resonates when you encounter a compelling  father character on TV or in movies. It firms up one’s faith in humanity. But with so many movie and TV dads floating in and out of view, it’s easy to overlook some good ones. In honor of Father’s Day weekend, we look back at a few.

DONALD SUTHERLAND

“PRIDE AND PREJUDICE” (2005)

Here’s a fine, fine actor playing a small role with tenderness and care. As the henpecked, mellow patriarch of the Bennet family in Jane Austen’s classic story, Sutherland lets his misty eyes, his sly smile and his lanky limbs work to their full advantage onscreen. Then, at the end of the film, he reveals his complete and utter love for his daughter through a quiet intensity that lingers nicely.

BERNIE MAC

“THE BERNIE MAC SHOW” (2001-06)

There was nothing quiet about the late, great Bernie Mac. Like few other actors, he projected a powerful, coiled up aggressiveness while also allowing his compassion to poke through. On his show, he played a man who takes in his sister’s children, raising them as his own. He often talked directly to “America,” looking straight at the camera, and it worked. You trusted him. You liked him.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN

“KRAMER VS. KRAMER” (1979)

Times and gender roles have changed so much that people forget what an eye-opener “Kramer vs. Kramer” was, with its depiction of a divorce and subsequent child custody fight. Hoffman is his usual, superb self as the father who learns how to be a parent.

CHUCK CONNORS

“THE RIFLEMAN” (1958-63)

Although the show was far from realistic, the father-son relationship at the heart of “The Rifleman” seemed authentically affectionate. Connors played Lucas McCain as a figure of towering strength and real kindness. Plus, he had the coolest rifle ever.

J.K. SIMMONS

“JUNO” (2007)

Simmons is a true craftsman. In “Juno,” he’s a father who helps his teen daughter through an unplanned pregnancy, and he does it with keen humor and gentle exasperation. Good in any type of role, here Simmons offers a physical weariness as counterpoint to the movie’s spry, stylized dialogue.

RONNY COX

“APPLE’S WAY” (1974-75)

This is a prime example of the father as idealist, from a TV show that never quite caught on with viewers. Cox was George Apple, a lawyer who moved his clan from California back to his hometown of Appleton, Iowa. Once there, he inserted himself into just about every free speech and human rights issue his little town encountered. His kids loved this, as you can imagine.

DELROY LINDO

“CROOKLYN” (1994)

Set in Brooklyn in the 1970s, “Crooklyn” featured Lindo as a musician who didn’t quite earn enough money to support his family, but whose sweet nature helped buoy the family during hard times. Lindo expertly shows us the full range of his guy’s flaws and qualities.

ROBERT DeNIRO

“A BRONX TALE” (1993)

DeNiro directed himself as a straight-arrow bus driver in the 1960s, trying mightily to keep his son from falling under the spell of a charismatic gangster. Playing against type, DeNiro gives a tightly controlled performance: tough, but not too tough; good, but not too good. It’s a gem.

MARTIN LANDAU

“EDtv” (1999)

To be sure, Landau’s loopy stepfather is the comic relief in this film. His character is in poor health and often clueless about what’s happening around him. But he gets a dynamite scene near the end of the movie that is gratifying as a nod to the true meaning of fatherhood.

NOAH BEERY JR.

“THE ROCKFORD FILES” (1974-80)

Any “Rockford Files” fan will have a soft spot for Rocky. Beery played him perfectly – no affectation, no ego. His scenes with James Garner had an easy charm and warmth.

MICHAEL TUCKER

“RADIO DAYS” (1987)

There’s a wonderful joke about dads in Woody Allen’s “Radio Days.” Seth Green, who plays Allen as a kid, has no idea what his father, Michael Tucker, actually does for a living. No matter how hard the kid tries to ferret out the information, dad finds a way to change the subject. It’s hilarious, partly because it plays on the mysterious, unknowable quality many fathers have.

ADAM SANDLER

“SPANGLISH” (2004)

I may not be the biggest Adam Sandler fan in the world, but I have to give him his due here. He’s excellent as a doting father in an unhappy marriage. His scenes with Sarah Steele as his teen daughter are beautiful and at times heartbreaking.

HECTOR ELIZONDO

“THE FLAMINGO KID” (1984)

Elizondo is the emotional core of this Matt Dillon comedy about a young man faced with a choice between corrupt wealth and the middle class work ethic, as represented by his family. I love how Elizondo communicates his frustration and hurt feelings without upsetting the comedic balance.

JUDD HIRSCH

“NUMB3RS” (2005-10)

No one matches Hirsch when it comes to the older, intellectually nurturing father character. Here, he invests Alan Eppes with a genuine pride and respect for his adult sons, along with his love and concern.

DAVID MORSE

“CONTACT” (1997)

In the sci-fi adventure “Contact,” Morse gets to play two versions of a father. One is the wise, gentle teacher. The other is the loving, lasting image a father leaves behind.

GENE HACKMAN

“THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS” (2001)

I think this is one of Hackman’s best roles. His character, Royal Tenenbaum, is sneaky, self-absorbed and unhelpful. Yet he’s also an undeniably cool old rascal. The question this film poses for him is whether it’s ever too late to stop being a jerk and start acting like a father.

Now let’s hear your suggestions. Add to The List!

Sinatra Duets I Would Have Loved

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God knows, Ol’ Blue Eyes loved his duets. He had great success with them, especially at the end of his wonderful career. But there were a few he never got around to recording. Imagine this album:

THE LADY IS A SUPERTRAMP (with Supertramp)

IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR OF THE CAT (with Al Stewart)

ONE FOR MY BABY, BABY, BABY (with Justin Bieber)

SUPERFLY ME TO THE MOON (with Curtis Mayfield)

MY KIND OF FUNKYTOWN (with Lipps Inc.)

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH HOPES (with John Denver)

WALK MY WAY (with Aerosmith)

SEND IN THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE (with Insane Clown Posse)

LUCK BE A LADY MARMALADE (with Labelle)

ENDLESS LOVE AND MARRIAGE (with Lionel Richie & Diana Ross)

THAT’S LIFE IN THE FAST LANE (with the Eagles)

BLOWIN’ IN THE SUMMER WIND (with Bob Dylan)

I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY RHINO SKIN (with Tom Petty)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DANCIN’ SO YOUNG (with Leo Sayer)

DA DOO-BE-DOO-BE-DOO RON RON (with The Crystals)

Ring-a-ding-ding, everyone.

Edgy Updates of Old TV Shows

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NBC’s recent announcement that it was revamping “The Munsters” into an hour-long drama – with Jerry O’Connell as Herman Munster, no less – has The Jimbo List considering all sorts of possibilities for new versions of old shows. Here are 10 suggestions sure to grab plenty of viewers.

PLAYTEX 90 - Weekly morality plays broadcast live, a la “Playhouse 90,” but with the actors wearing only undergarments.

BANG, ZOOM - David Chase’s take on “The Honeymooners,” starring James Gandolfini, Kate Winslet and Edward Norton as Ed Norton.

MY MOTHER THE iPHONE - Patton Oswalt is a lovable loser whose iPhone is the reincarnated spirit of his buttinski mom.

DANCING WITH BONANZA - A widowed rancher and his three grown sons mete out frontier justice while competing in the rumba, waltz and cha cha.

HAVE PHOTOSHOP, WILL TRAVEL - Thomas Jane plays a moody ex-cop with graphics skills who solves people’s problems by altering their profile pictures.

OUTER LIMITS OF THE JERSEY SHORE - One of these pinheads is a freakin’ space alien, and we’re not leaving the club until we find the *?#&!

MAYBERRY METH - Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer star as a small-town sheriff and his deputy, trying to bust up a local network of meth labs. With John C. Reilly as Otis.

THE BROODY BUNCH - Estranged family members work out their “issues” in a suburban raised ranch, during an ice storm, via text messages.

I’VE GOT A SEXUAL SECRET - A panel of celebrity shrinks sort through contestants’ social media postings to ferret out embarrassing fetishes and self-destructive tendencies.

HOLLYWOOD HAZEL - Zooey Deschanel is a maid for a household that includes a drug kingpin, a high-priced call girl and a 6-year-old beauty pageant winner.

Let’s see the new “Munsters” top that!

Jimbo’s Guide to Obnoxious Moviegoers

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Now that summer blockbuster season is here, it’s time to concern ourselves with that most dreadful aspect of cinema – the Obnoxious Moviegoer. He or she comes in many forms, and all of them are revolting. Consider these varieties:

Drop-Ins - These dolts arrive 45 minutes into the movie, their candy wrappers a-crinkling, and seem to consider the film a mildly diverting backdrop to their evening snack.

The Light Brigade - People who open their cell phone every 10 minutes to check the time and retrieve messages.

Whack-A-Moles - Tall people who sink way down in their seat, then sit up, then sink down, then sit up, throughout the film.

Narrators - They verbalize each obvious action taking place on the screen. Example: “Did you see? Did you see that? Hulk grabbed that guy and smashed him into the ground! Did you see?”

Honey, I Scared the Kids - Parents who bring young children to movies WAY too scary or violent for their age.

Mood Busters – People (often kids) who find a serious part of the movie hilarious and start laughing.

Space Invaders - In an uncrowded theater, they decide to sit directly in front of, or behind you.

Knee & Foot Patrol - People sitting behind you who periodically throw a kick into your back.

Three Strikes You’re Out - No getting up more than twice during the show if you’re sitting more than five seats from the aisle.

Toxic Tootsies - These horrid creatures have the temerity to take off their shoes and cross their stinky feet in your general direction.

Oh, the things we put up with for a big-screen experience. Now it’s your turn. Which obnoxious moviegoers bother you the most? Add to The List!

Best Evil Queens in Movies

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Charlize Theron certainly cuts quite a figure as the Evil Queen character in the new “Snow White and the Huntsman” movie. But she’ll have to do more than just look the part to keep up with the best evil queens in movie history. Here are nine of them.

HELENA BONHAM CARTER

“ALICE IN WONDERLAND” (2010)

Bonham Carter, who has built up quite a collection of interesting supporting roles, does the whole regal nutjob thing perfectly. She has a little help here from special effects, but it’s her crazy, menacing manner as the Red Queen that seals the deal.

MALEFICENT

“SLEEPING BEAUTY” (1959)

As animated villains go, Maleficent was languidly, elegantly evil. She had no problem putting the whammy on people (i.e., Sleeping Beauty), and she looked good doing it. Bonus points for the horns.

SUSAN SARANDON

“ENCHANTED” (2007)

Sarandon is wonderful as Queen Narissa, who lives in an animated realm and banishes a beautiful princess to real-life Manhattan. Sarandon dispenses with subtlety and unleashes the full power of her personal charisma.

ALICE KRIGE

“STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT” (1996)

Charisma isn’t exactly the first thing that comes to mind with the Borg Queen, played by Krige. In the world of “Star Trek,” the Borg collective is all about conquering and assimilating other cultures into zombie-like cyborgs. Of course, Krige does manage to make her Queen character sexy in a cold, calculated sort of way.

ANJELICA HUSTON

“EVER AFTER” (1998)

I’m breaking my own rules here, because Huston doesn’t play a queen in “Ever After.” In this more realistic telling of the Cinderella story, Huston plays Rodmilla, evil stepmother to Drew Barrymore. She’s brilliant in the part, injecting sly humor and full-out slapstick where necessary. And her raised eyebrow, pictured above, almost deserves its own line in the cast list.

JULIA ROBERTS

“MIRROR MIRROR” (2012)

She’s going to be seriously overshadowed and left in the dust by the new Snow White film, but Julia’s take on The Queen is a success nonetheless. She used her image as an A-list movie star to shape a satirical, deliciously dark character.

ALIEN QUEEN

“ALIENS” (1986)

Possibly the most evil queen ever. In one of the greatest movie sequels in history, Sigourney Weaver takes on the mother of the bloodthirsty “aliens” that threaten the universe. This is absolute white-knuckle territory, in part because the queen is so utterly, thoroughly … evil.

DAME JUDI DENCH

“MACBETH” (1979)

Yes, yes, it’s a TV version of Shakespeare’s epic tragedy. So sue me. Dame Judi is spectacular as Lady Macbeth, the power hungry noblewoman who gets to be Queen of Scotland the hard way.

WICKED QUEEN

“SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES” (1937)

She’s the best, without a doubt. Lucille La Verne did the voice work for the Wicked Queen, and she’s simply indelible. Let’s put it this way: Would you ever want to get on her bad side? Thought not.

So are there any great, evil queens I’ve forgotten? Add them to The List!