The Lifetime Channel’s holiday movies have become something of a cottage industry. They merge two powerful forces in American popular culture: love and Christmas. But it can go too far. These are some prospective Lifetime movie titles (for several holidays) that should never be made.
DEFRAGGING MRS. CLAUS
A SUMMONS FOR ST. PATRICK’S
I’LL BE HOME FOR TAX DAY
THE CHRISTMAS PASHMINA
PERFECTLY PURIM
EASTER, SHMEASTER
YULETIDE WI-FI GUY
THANKSGIVING HOT FLASH
MIRACLE ON CYBER MONDAY
MY NEW YEAR’S NAP
THE ABSENT-MINDED VALENTINE
ANOTHER MISTLETOE MISTAKE
I wonder what they’d do for Groundhog Day?
Easter, Shmeaster ~ ha!