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Worst School Lunch Items. Ever.

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Hold onto your plastic food trays, friends – it’s National School Lunch Week! Time to kick back, take a moment and savor those memories of salisbury steaks, carrot sticks and milk cartons that refused to open cleanly. And when you’re done with that, consider how lucky you were not to experience any of these:

DISSECTION OF THE DAY

MASCOT KABOBS

OPEN-FACED PETRI DISH

CHEWING GUM GUMBO

LONELY GYM TEACHER’S CHOICE

GRISTLE LOAF

LOCKER FONDUE

SPAGHETTI AND SPITBALLS

FAKE FIRE ALARM CHILI

CHEM LAB MEDLEY

SNOT POCKETS

NITRATE SURPRISE

ASPARAGUS MOLD

THREE-BEAN SALAD – LIMAS, LIMAS AND LIMAS

Bon appetit!

5 Responses »

  1. Oh, no “it’s Thursday lunch!” Jimbo, I can still hear my classmates and me even now in the cafeteria. Thursday’s lunch was the day before Friday Funky Fish Day at our Catholic Girls High School. Thursday was “Mystery Meat” Day! Yuck! To this day I have no idea what it was or what went into it(shudder)! You’d think that since most of the students didn’t touch the mystery meat,and it went back to the kitchen on our otherwise empty trays, the nuns would’ve gotten the message.But maybe they then just ate it themselves! Eeeeeww!

    Reply
  2. My absolute fave is Snot Pockets. However, Lonely Gym Teacher’s Choice is also quite poignant.

    Do you think they might also have offered Faux-gurt? Or Chalklate milk?

    Reply
  3. I grew up in England where we had meat and two veg every day. The only days when we had a choice was on days when ‘curry’ was served. but we did have desserts, and I’m going to make you all jealous now. Once a week we’d have chocolate sponge (like a hot chocolate cake) with strawberry custard (sauce). Yum.

    Reply
  4. Back in the day they were not as strict when it came to health code inspections which leads me to my all time favorite……. Hairnet SURPRISE!!! Strictly speaking it wasn’t as fun as the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks but it was definitely entertaining, so long as you weren’t the one that actually got it. Ahhh yes, good times.

    Reply

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