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Anniversaries We Don’t Celebrate (But Should)

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anniversary

For each of us, the calendar is filled with dates of special significance, from birthdays and anniversaries to holidays and days that live in infamy. So many, in fact, that they crowd out other anniversaries that we would do well to honor. Such as:

Your first successful “knock-knock” joke

The day you learned to whistle

First taste of watermelon

First time you successfully parallel parked with a friend in the car

The day you got your first paycheck

Hearing George Carlin for the first time

The time that idiot who tailgated you for 5 miles got pulled over by the cops

First time the person you voted for loses in a landslide

The day you learned that the spikes on ice climbing boots are called “crampons”

The first time your child says your name

Final trip to buy diapers

First time someone takes your advice because you look old enough to know stuff

That day you went into the Harley bar in your bike shorts because the sign said “BIKERS WELCOME”

First time your child buys you dinner

First time you watched a movie on your computer

The day you picked your grandparenting name

We’re all going to need much bigger calendars.