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Tag Archives: Barack Obama

Presidential TV Shows for 2016

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presidents

Here at the close of Presidents’ Day, we take a moment to envision a TV landscape filled with programs about our illustrious Commanders-in-Chief, past and present.

DOWNTON ABIE (Lincoln)

HOUSE OF CARBS (Taft)

THE BIG BANK THEORY (Jackson)

HYANNISPORTLANDIA (JFK)

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AROUND THE SENATE WATERGATE HEARINGS? (Nixon)

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK TUESDAY (Hoover)

GAME OF DRONES (Obama)

MEDICAREDEVIL (LBJ)

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 1ST GRADER? (George W. Bush)

FEAR THE WALKING TED (Theodore Roosevelt)

TERM LIMITLESS (FDR)

UNDER THE TEAPOT DOME (Harding)

BETTER CALL PAUL REVERE (Washington)

LONGMIRED IN WHITEWATER (Clinton)

THE AMAZING 1876 RACE (Hayes)

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN KENNEBUNKPORT (George H.W. Bush)

RIZZOLI & IKE (Eisenhower)

What will next year bring? Hillary Street Blues? F Trump?

Questions You Won’t Hear at the Presidential Debate

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No offense to the fine journalists who prepare questions for the upcoming presidential debates, but many of us have pressing items that never seem to get addressed. Such as:

WHO IS THE BIGGER NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT, LINDSAY LOHAN OR HONEY BOO BOO’S MOM?

HOW LONG DID YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE SAYING MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD?

WHEN DO YOU THINK WE’LL HAVE ANOTHER PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION BETWEEN GUYS NAMED “MITT” AND “BARACK”?

FAVORITE JAMES BOND?

WHICH ONE OF YOUR CAMPAIGN PROMISES IS THE MOST ABSURD?

ARE YOU PREPARED TO GUARANTEE THAT YOU WON’T ONE-HOP THE BALL WHEN YOU THROW OUT THE FIRST PITCH DURING BASEBALL SEASON NEXT YEAR?

WAS THE FINAL EPISODE OF “LOST” COMPELLING OR JUST LAME?

IF YOU COULD CHANGE “HAIL TO THE CHIEF” TO ANOTHER TUNE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THE NEW YORK JETS?

WHICH ONE OF THE THREE STOOGES IS MOST LIKE YOUR RUNNING MATE?

I guess we’ll just have to settle for policy and platitudes.

Band Names For Politicians

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Slogans are great, but nothing connects a politician to the electorate like music. We’ve already seen Barack Obama and Mitt Romney sing for the camera this year, and Bill Clinton got tons of mileage for playing his saxophone on TV years ago. I think political figures should drop the pretense and just start forming their own bands. Here are a few to get us start

IT TAKES A VILLAGE PEOPLE – Hillary Clinton

BWAH-HA MEN – Dick Cheney

ZZ GAFFE – Joe Biden

EARTH, WIND AND CRIER – John Boehner

NON-BLINK 47 – Nancy Pelosi

AVERAGE WHITE BLAND – Tim Pawlenty

OBAMARAMA – Barack Obama

MITT THE HOOPLE – Mitt Romney

CREEDENCE WHITEWATER REVIVAL – Bill Clinton

DEATH PANELS FOR CUTIE – Sarah Palin

OLDPLAY – Harry Reid

24 HOUR TEA PARTY PEOPLE – Michele Bachmann

You have to admit, it would make the Democratic and Republican National Conventions a lot more interesting.

Political Rapper Names

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Here’s an idea to solve the perpetual gridlock in government and politics: Let’s give all the politicians rapper names! It’ll add some spark to the process and perhaps even prompt our leaders to speak the truth more often. Plus, think of how much fun it would be to follow the exploits of:

MC BOEHNER

BARACK “TWO-PACK” OBAMA

LI’L HILLARY

DICK “GRUFF DADDY” CHENEY

NEWT-TANG CLAN

PALIN FIASCO

NOT-SO-YOUNG REID-Y

MICHELLE-L COOL J BACHMAnN

DEMINEMS

NOTORIOUS GOP

JOE “JAY-B” BIDEN

MITT ROMNEY-ROMM

SLICK RICK PERRY

SIR TAX-A-LOT

BIG DADDY MCCAIN

ICE-T PARTY

RUN-DNC

RANDY RAND PAUL

CHRIS LUDAKRISTY

So who did I leave out?