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Presidential TV Shows for 2016

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Here at the close of Presidents’ Day, we take a moment to envision a TV landscape filled with programs about our illustrious Commanders-in-Chief, past and present.

DOWNTON ABIE (Lincoln)

HOUSE OF CARBS (Taft)

THE BIG BANK THEORY (Jackson)

HYANNISPORTLANDIA (JFK)

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AROUND THE SENATE WATERGATE HEARINGS? (Nixon)

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK TUESDAY (Hoover)

GAME OF DRONES (Obama)

MEDICAREDEVIL (LBJ)

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 1ST GRADER? (George W. Bush)

FEAR THE WALKING TED (Theodore Roosevelt)

TERM LIMITLESS (FDR)

UNDER THE TEAPOT DOME (Harding)

BETTER CALL PAUL REVERE (Washington)

LONGMIRED IN WHITEWATER (Clinton)

THE AMAZING 1876 RACE (Hayes)

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN KENNEBUNKPORT (George H.W. Bush)

RIZZOLI & IKE (Eisenhower)

What will next year bring? Hillary Street Blues? F Trump?

Christopher Columbus Fun Facts (Sort Of)

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Happy Columbus Day, folks! Despite what you may have learned over the years about Mr. C., there are a few tidbits of personal information that most people don’t know. Take a gander.

GPS LADY TOLD HIM HE WAS IN INDIA

HAD A FOURTH SHIP NAMED THE “DEBBIE”

INVENTED “CASUAL FRIDAYS”

FOR KICKS, HE TOLD PEOPLE TOBACCO TASTED GREAT IN LASAGNA

CORRECTLY PREDICTED THE CAPITAL OF OHIO WOULD BE NAMED AFTER HIM

ALWAYS HAD TO WORK ON COLUMBUS DAY

ONCE TIED THE FAMILY DOG TO THE ROOF OF THE SHIP

CLOSE FRIENDS CALLED HIM CEE-CEE

WOULD HAVE STOPPED FIRST IN FLORIDA, BUT HE MISSED THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

THOUGHT MAGELLAN WAS A HACK

Enjoy the day, everyone.

Great Moments at Political Conventions – Or Not

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Now that the Republican National Convention is over and the Democratic National Convention is starting up, it’s the perfect time to revisit some of the strangest moments that never happened at a political convention.

In 1996, Bill Clinton wanted to combine the Democratic convention with the MTV Summer Beach House

Two people were injured at the 1984 Republican convention when Ronald Reagan insisted on replacing the balloon drop with a jelly bean drop

Dan Quayle thought party platforms were actual pieces of lumber and showed up at the 1992 Republican convention with a carpenter’s belt and hammer.

John Edwards was late for his appearance at the 2004 Democratic convention because he was busy purging the last vestiges of his humanity.

The longest convention lip lock was not Al and Tipper Gore in 2000. It was William Howard Taft and a well-seasoned turkey leg in 1912.

Delegates to the 1968 Democratic convention received a gas mask and brass knuckles in their welcome bag.

At the request of Ulysses S. Grant, Jack Daniels was named an honorary delegate to the 1872 Republican convention.

Behind the scenes at the 1976 Democratic convention, Billy Carter lobbied for his brother to name him Secretary of Fermentation.

At the Whig Party convention of 1840, William Henry Harrison wanted to choose Theodore Freylinghuysen as his running mate, until he realized his campaign slogan would be “Tippecanoe and Freylinghuysen too.”

The Chicago Tribune mistakenly reported that Thomas Dewey won the nomination at the 1948 Democratic convention.

Actor Clint Eastwood performed a rambling improvisation to an empty chair at the 2012 Republican convention – oh wait, that one really happened.

Let’s see if the Democrats will add to The List!

11 Outrageous Presidential Rumors

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In honor of Presidents Day, The Jimbo List proudly presents some of the craziest presidential rumors that never happened. Hail to the Chiefs!

GEORGE WASHINGTON REFERRED TO HIS POWDERED WIG AS “HAIR FORCE ONE”

GROVER CLEVELAND’S MUSTACHE WEIGHED MORE THAN HIS SECRETARY OF STATE

LYNDON JOHNSON WANTED TO NAME A  SON “LARRY BIRD” JOHNSON

AFTER A FEW COCKTAILS, RICHARD NIXON TALKED TO THE PORTRAITS ON PAPER MONEY

MILLARD FILLMORE HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND NAMED WILLARD FILLMORE

ABRAHAM LINCOLN ALSO FAVORED STOVEPIPE SOCKS

GEORGE W. BUSH STARTED EVERY CABINET MEETING WITH A KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE

FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT ORIGINALLY PLANNED TO SAY, “THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS TEN YEARS OF UNRELENTING MISERY”

DWIGHT EISENHOWER BRIEFLY TRIED THE SLOGAN, “I KIND OF PREFER IKE”

TEDDY ROOSEVELT WANTED ALL SUPREME COURT CASES TO BE DECIDED BY CAGE FIGHTS

BILL CLINTON THREATENED TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT UNLESS McDONALD’S BROUGHT BACK THE McRIB YEAR ROUND

Actually, that last one might be true.