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Tag Archives: summer

Air Conditioner Settings I’d Like To See

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airconditioner

As you may have heard, there’s a bit of a heat wave going on in the Northeast this week. It follows a monster heat wave a couple of weeks ago out West. One thing that’s become clear is we need more aggressive settings on our air conditioners to handle such extreme weather. Here are some suggestions:

BRAIN FREEZE

MEAT LOCKER

WASP FAMILY DINNER

POLAR PLUNGE

FIRST DAY OF SLED DOG PRACTICE

SIBERIAN SUNRISE

FROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER

ICE QUEEN

THANKSGIVING WITH THE SPITZERS

IGLOO

I feel cooler already.

Music Festivals No One Wants to See

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musicfestival

The Jimbo List understands it’s never too early to make your summer music festival plans. After all, that perfect sunglasses-and-sandals combo isn’t just going to find itself, am I right? It’s also important to know which festivals to avoid. But never fear. Here is a handy List of events you’d do well to skip.

POUGHKEEPSIEPALOOZA

LIVE ACHE

KAMIKAZECON

ABUSIVE COACHELLA

SYRIAROO

CONCERT FOR A FREE BOCA RATON

GWYNETH FAIR

DRIFTWOODSTOCK

ANTFARM AID

And please remember: Don’t take the brown acid.

Summer Vacation Hashtags

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You can tell an awful lot about how summer vacation season is going by keeping tabs on those vacation Twitter hashtags. Here are a few I’m expecting to see:

#MyEyelidsAreSunburned

#DadsBackHairIsFreakingMeOut

#LobsterBibsAreNotASexyLook

#PlacesYouDontWantToFindSand

#ITriedToWarnHimAboutTheJellyfish

#GodINeedAFrozenDrink

#NobodyMentionedTheSharks

#BeachUmbrellaEnvy

#IMayNeverWearRealShoesAgain

#FriedClamOverload

#OfficiallyForgotAllMyPasswords

#TheWorldSmellsLikeLighterFluid

Enjoy it while it lasts!

9 Reasons Your Neighbor Is Having A Better Summer Than You

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Sad to say, but summer has become a competitive sport. And like all sports, there are winners and there are losers. Here’s how you can tell if that annoying family up the block already has the edge on you.

THEY JUST PUT CENTRAL AIR IN THE TREEHOUSE

THEIR DEVILED EGG RECIPE AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD PICNIC CAME FROM BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE

LITTLE SEBASTIAN’S BASKETBALL CAMP GOT A LATE START BECAUSE LEBRON HAD TO FINISH THE PLAYOFFS

THEY INSIST THE SECOND TWO WEEKS OF VACATION ARE SO MUCH MORE RELAXED BECAUSE THEY AREN’T STRESSING ABOUT WORK AS MUCH THEY DID DURING THE FIRST TWO WEEKS

THEIR VINE-RIPENED TOMATOES ALREADY WON FIRST PRIZE IN THIS FALL’S COUNTY FAIR

GOT THEIR KIDS’ JULY 4TH SPARKLERS FROM THE GRUCCI BROS.

THEIR FLIP FLOPS ONLY FLIP

THEIR GAS GRILL HAS CRUISE CONTROL

FACEBOOK JUST TOLD THEM THEY NEVER HAVE TO SWITCH TO TIMELINE

Any others you come to mind? Add to The List!

Summer – The Musical!

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Summer busted out in a big way this past weekend, so here’s a List of Broadway musicals retooled for the season of beaches and heat.

THE SOUND OF NEIGHBORS’ MUSIC

FUNNY GRILL

MAN OF LA COUCHA

TAN-A-LOT

SPORTS JERSEY BOYS

WICKED HOT

ANNIE GET YOUR SQUIRT GUN

WATER SLIDE STORY

SPRITZ ME, KATE

MY STREET FAIR LADY

SWOONEY TODD

PHANTOM OF THE MUNICIPAL SWIMMING POOL

HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUG BITES WITHOUT REALLY TRYING

Let’s hope it’s a nice, long summer.