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5 Random Thoughts to Consider During a Snowstorm

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daftpunk

Here we are in the middle of yet another snowstorm here on the East Coast. It’s the perfect time to let the mind wander and take stock of some truly important matters. Such as …

JONAH HILL HAS TWO OSCAR NOMINATIONS AND BILL MURRAY ONLY HAS ONE. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

BOB COSTAS’ EYE INFECTION IS THE BEST HUMAN INTEREST STORY OF THE ENTIRE WINTER OLYMPICS

IF KANSAS BASKETBALL COACH BILL SELF REFERS TO A “SELFIE,” DO YOU THINK HE MEANS THE SAME THING WE DO?

THE DAFT PUNK GUYS WOULD BE A PERFECT 2-MAN BOBSLED TEAM

MEASURING SNOW IS NOW THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE STILL HAVE WOODEN RULERS

Happy shoveling!

9 Good Things About the Polar Vortex

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polarvortexBe my guest if you want to complain about the Polar Vortex that has settled in over much of the country. But if you think about it, this much-maligned weather system has more than a few positive things going for it. Such as:

THAT ELF IS NOW FROZEN TO THE SHELF

SOUPCICLES

ICE FISHING IN ATLANTA

I CAN FINALLY FINISH MY POEM ABOUT GORTEX

THE DUDES ON MOUNT RUSHMORE LOOK GOOD IN EARMUFFS

THAT GUY WHO ALWAYS WEARS SHORTS IN THE WINTER IS FORCED TO GO INDOORS UNTIL SPRING

GREAT SEATS AVAILABLE ON THE STATEN ISLAND FERRY

NICE TO HEAR ‘VORTEX’ USED IN A NON-STAR TREK CONTEXT

FOR ONCE, MY BEER IS ACTUALLY COLD

Stay warm, my friends.

Air Conditioner Settings I’d Like To See

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airconditioner

As you may have heard, there’s a bit of a heat wave going on in the Northeast this week. It follows a monster heat wave a couple of weeks ago out West. One thing that’s become clear is we need more aggressive settings on our air conditioners to handle such extreme weather. Here are some suggestions:

BRAIN FREEZE

MEAT LOCKER

WASP FAMILY DINNER

POLAR PLUNGE

FIRST DAY OF SLED DOG PRACTICE

SIBERIAN SUNRISE

FROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER

ICE QUEEN

THANKSGIVING WITH THE SPITZERS

IGLOO

I feel cooler already.