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Category Archives: Christmas

The 12 Trends of Christmas

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christmastrends

Are your Christmas traditions getting a little stale? Looking for ways to spice up the holidays? Well, this is your lucky holiday! The staff at The Jimbo List has come up with a dozen suggestions for adding some zazz to the most wonderful time of the year.

CRECHE MOBS

SKINNY SNOWMEN

WII WASSAILING

CLEAN COAL IN YOUR STOCKING IF YOU’VE BEEN NAUGHTY

ALL-ORGANIC FIGGY PUDDING

INFINITY FRUITCAKES

EGGNOG MOJITOS

ZOMBIE REINDEER

BLU RAY YULE LOG

SUSTAINABLE SECRET SANTA

DIGITAL MISTLETOE

THE NUTCRACKER, GANGNAM STYLE

Merry Christmas, to one and all!

Rejected Lifetime Holiday Movies

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holidaylifetimemoviesThe Lifetime Channel’s holiday movies have become something of a cottage industry. They merge two powerful forces in American popular culture: love and Christmas. But it can go too far. These are some prospective Lifetime movie titles (for several holidays) that should never be made.

DEFRAGGING MRS. CLAUS

A SUMMONS FOR ST. PATRICK’S

I’LL BE HOME FOR TAX DAY

THE CHRISTMAS PASHMINA

PERFECTLY PURIM

EASTER, SHMEASTER

YULETIDE WI-FI GUY

THANKSGIVING HOT FLASH

MIRACLE ON CYBER MONDAY

MY NEW YEAR’S NAP

THE ABSENT-MINDED VALENTINE

ANOTHER MISTLETOE MISTAKE

I wonder what they’d do for Groundhog Day?

Six Wacky Santas

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Santa Claus is a much more complicated guy than most people realize. It stands to reason, too. He defies most of the accepted standards of time, space and physics in his annual journey. Here are a few instances when he wasn’t quite on his game.

NIGHT OF THE MEEK (THE TWILIGHT ZONE)


The great Art Carney is a boozy, department store Santa who takes a wrong turn into … “The Twilight Zone.” If you haven’t seen this classic on one of the TZ marathons, it’s worth a look. Also, if this doesn’t have the usual look of a TZ episode, it’s because it was recorded on videotape, rather than film.

FRED CLAUS


Bet you didn’t know Santa had sibling issues. Well, he does. Turns out his brother Fred (played by Vince Vaughn) isn’t his biggest fan. The cool thing about this movie is that because Santa is played by Paul Giamatti, he can have all of Santa’s lovable qualities, yet still have an edge.

A CHRISTMAS STORY

Classic scene in what has become a classic holiday movie. Little Ralphie goes to sit on Santa’s lap but freezes up when it’s time to ask Santa for an air rifle for Christmas. Santa’s response is hilarious. Santa here is played by Jeff Gillen.

SANTA’S SLAY

Yikes. Apparently I missed the news that Santa is actually THE SON OF SATAN! Yeah, I was shocked, too. He’s been handing out all those toys as some kind of cosmic work release program – until now, when he’s free to do some rather harsh stuff. You may notice that Santa bears a striking resemblance to the professional wrestler, Goldberg.

SANTA SELLS CHEVYS

I love this series of commercials, featuring a jolly, white-bearded car salesman named Nick.

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

Dig this one, kids: A bunch of space aliens dressed like martini olives decide to kidnap Santa. Will this be the end of Christmas? Will it be the end of quality cinema as we know it? Big shout-out here to John Call in his signature role as Santa.

So, which nutty St. Nicks did I leave out?

Christmas Carols 2011

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Some folks like their Christmas carols the traditional way, with nary a nod to changing times. That’s cool. Me, I’m open to a little tinkering. In that spirit, try these updated carols on for size.

FELIZ NAVIDUDE

DROID TO THE WORLD

I SAW MOMMY KISSING HERMAN CAIN

THE LITTLE BIEBER BOY

IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE I MISMANAGED MY RETIREMENT ACCOUNT

SIRI, BABY

O HOLY TEBOW

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? HOW ABOUT NOW? DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR NOW?

IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT TWEET

Wii THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE

UP ON A LAPTOP

HERE WE GO A KINDLE-ING

I’LL BE IN THE CLOUD FOR CHRISTMAS

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