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Category Archives: space

What Felix Baumgartner Thought About During His Jump

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As Felix Baumgartner showed the world this weekend, 24 miles is a long way to fall. Here are some of the things that crossed his mind as he hurtled back down to Earth.

I SHOULD HAVE HIT THE MEN’S ROOM ONE MORE TIME

SERIOUSLY, I’M FALLING FASTER THAN MY FACEBOOK STOCK

OH!MY!GOD!

EDDIE MONEY SURE DIDN’T AGE WELL, DID HE?

NEXT TIME, GET THE “RELAXED FIT” SPACE SUIT

WOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOW

GREAT, I’VE GOT THAT “GANGNAM STYLE” SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD

DID I REMEMBER TO TIVO CHARLES OSGOOD?

THOSE ANTS DOWN THERE BETTER NOT BE ANTS, OR I’M IN BIG TROUBLE

Congratulations, Mr. Baumgartner.

What If Someone Else Walked On The Moon First?

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Neil Armstrong’s recent passing gives us occasion to honor a great American hero. It also prompts us to reflect on his glorious moon walk and speculate as to what others might have said if they’d been in his space boots.

YODA: “Giant leap for mankind, it is.”

DR. SEUSS: “One foot, two foot, here’s the first moon foot.”

SIRI: “I found 4 craters and the Sea of Tranquility a little ways from you.”

SARAH PALIN: “I can see Russia!”

AL GORE: “I invented NASA, you know.”

SNOOP LION: “One small fo shizzle in my capsizzle.”

WEREWOLF: “Awwwooooo!”

MICHAEL JACKSON: “Moon walk? This gives me an idea…”

BROOKLYN HIPSTER: “Totes historic!”

SNOOKI: “OMG! These f*!?$& shoes are the worst.”

RATSO RIZZO: “Hey – I’m walkin’ here!”

Bless you, Neil Armstrong.